Low Libido & Low Sexual Desire

Understanding Low Libido & Low Sexual Desire

Low libido — also known as hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD) when it causes significant distress — refers to a persistent reduction or absence of interest in sexual activity. It is the most commonly reported sexual difficulty in women and affects a significant number of men, at all ages and in all relationship types.

A low or absent desire for sex can have a profound impact on self-esteem, relationships, and overall wellbeing. Partners may feel rejected or confused; the person experiencing it may feel guilt, shame, or a growing sense of disconnection from their own sexuality. Psychosexual therapy offers effective, evidence-based support.

You are not alone : Low libido is the most common sexual complaint in women and affects many men too. It is not a sign of failing in your relationship — it is a treatable condition with clear contributing factors that therapy can address.

Understanding Sexual Desire

Spontaneous vs Responsive Desire

Many people assume that sexual desire should arise spontaneously. However, research — particularly the work of Dr Emily Nagoski — shows that many people, especially women, experience primarily responsive desire: arousal that emerges in the right context in response to stimulation, rather than appearing from nowhere. Understanding which type of desire you experience, and working with it rather than against it, can be transformative.

Desire Discrepancy

Different partners often have different levels of desire. When this discrepancy creates tension and distress, psychosexual couple therapy helps both partners understand each other and find a mutually satisfying way forward.

Causes

The causes of low libido are rarely simple. Psychological contributors include stress, depression, anxiety, unresolved relationship difficulties, a history of trauma, body image concerns, and disconnection from one's identity or sexuality. Physical contributors include hormonal changes (low oestrogen or testosterone), certain medications (including antidepressants and hormonal contraception), thyroid conditions, chronic illness, and fatigue.

How Psychosexual Therapy Helps

Psychosexual therapy for low libido takes a holistic view — exploring the psychological, relational, and life-stage factors that contribute to reduced desire, and working collaboratively to rebuild a healthier, more satisfying relationship with your sexuality.

Your First Session

Your first session is a warm, confidential conversation about your experience of low desire — when it started, what may have contributed, and what you hope to achieve. Together you and your therapist will develop a clear, personalised treatment plan.

Whether the priority is individual self-exploration or rebuilding intimacy as a couple, therapy is compassionate, non-judgmental, and tailored to your unique circumstances.

What You Can Expect from Treatment

• Understand your desire : Gain insight into the type of desire you experience and the factors influencing it
• Address underlying causes : Work through stress, depression, relationship issues, or life-stage factors
• Rebuild connection : Restore your relationship with your own sexuality and with your partner
• Reduce pressure : Move away from obligation-based sex towards genuine, intrinsic desire
• Improve communication : Develop more open, honest conversations about intimacy with your partner