Rebuilding Intimacy After Infidelity


Understanding the Impact of Infidelity


The discovery of infidelity — whether a one-off encounter, an emotional affair, or a longer-term relationship — typically shatters the sense of safety, trust, and identity that an intimate relationship provides. It is one of the most painful experiences a person can go through, and its impact on sexual intimacy is profound and complex.


For the betrayed partner, sexual intimacy after infidelity can feel impossible — contaminated by images of the affair, deep mistrust, shame, or rage. For the partner who was unfaithful, guilt, shame, and uncertainty about the relationship's future make intimacy equally fraught. With specialist therapeutic support, most couples who choose to work through infidelity are able to rebuild — and many report that their relationship, while transformed, ultimately becomes stronger and more honest than it was before.


There is hope: Research consistently shows that couples who engage in specialist therapy following infidelity have significantly better recovery outcomes than those who do not. Rebuilding is possible — and many couples do.


The Impact on Sexual Intimacy

For the Betrayed Partner

Sexual intimacy after discovering infidelity can feel impossible, contaminated, or deeply triggering. Intrusive images, inability to be present during sex, loss of desire, physical aversion to their partner, and feelings of worthlessness or betrayal are all common. Some betrayed partners also experience hyper-sexual responses — a driven need to reclaim their partner — which can itself become confusing and distressing.

For the Partner Who Was Unfaithful

Guilt, shame, and the weight of causing profound hurt can make intimacy feel undeserved or overwhelming. Fear of further hurting the betrayed partner, uncertainty about the relationship, and difficulty being fully present all affect sexual intimacy significantly.

The Couple Together

Sexual intimacy between partners after infidelity frequently becomes a complex, loaded arena — carrying the weight of the entire betrayal. Navigating this safely requires specialist support.


How Psychosexual Therapy Can Help

Psychosexual therapy after infidelity works on two levels simultaneously: the relationship recovery (rebuilding trust, safety, and honest communication) and the specific sexual impact of the affair. Both dimensions require careful, specialist attention. Therapy creates a structured, safe space for both partners to process their experience and work collaboratively towards a rebuilt intimate life — at a pace that respects where each of them is.



Individual & Couple Therapy

Individual Therapy

Individual therapy provides space to process the personal impact of infidelity — whether you are the betrayed partner dealing with trauma and loss of trust, or the unfaithful partner working through guilt, shame, and understanding what led to the affair. Many people attend individually alongside couple therapy.

Couple Therapy

Couple therapy is the primary approach for recovery after infidelity. It helps both partners process the betrayal, rebuild trust and communication, and — when both choose this — gradually restore physical and emotional intimacy on a new, more honest foundation.

There is no requirement to have decided about the future of your relationship before starting therapy. Therapy can support you whether you are working to rebuild or trying to understand what you each want.


What You Can Expect from Treatment


  • Process the betrayal : Create space for both partners to express and be heard in their pain
  • Rebuild trust : Develop a clear, collaborative framework for rebuilding safety and honesty
  • Understand what happened : Explore the factors that contributed to the affair without blame or excuse
  • Restore communication : Build more open, honest communication about needs, feelings, and the relationship
  • Rebuild sexual intimacy : Gradually, and only when both partners are ready, restore physical closeness
  • Rebuild on a new foundation : Many couples report their relationship ultimately becomes stronger and more honest



What our clients say


"We came to therapy not knowing if we could survive this. Our therapist gave us a safe place to say the unsayable — and a path forward neither of us could have found alone. "

— Anonymous, Couple theraphy

"I was the one who had the affair. The guilt was overwhelming. Individual therapy helped me understand why it happened — and couple therapy helped us rebuild. It saved our marriage."

— Anonymous, Individual theraphy

"A year on from starting therapy, our relationship is more honest and more intimate than it ever was before the affair. I never thought I could say that. "

— Anonymous , Couple theraphy

Our Therapists


All our psychosexual therapists are registered members of COSRT (College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists) — the UK's professional body for psychosexual and relationship therapy with over 40 years of expertise. Our therapists hold postgraduate qualifications in psychosexual and relationship therapy and many hold additional memberships with BACP or UKCP.


Our therapists provide a warm, confidential, non-judgmental space where you can explore your concerns freely and work towards meaningful, lasting change. Every treatment plan is tailored entirely to your individual situation, goals, and pace.


Confidentiality guaranteed: All sessions — in person or online — are conducted in strict confidence in accordance with COSRT's professional code of ethics.

Your First Session

Your first session is a warm, confidential conversation about your experience — what you have been noticing, how long it has been affecting you, and what you hope to achieve. There is no pressure and no predetermined agenda. Your therapist will listen carefully and develop a personalised treatment plan collaboratively with you.


Between Sessions

Psychosexual therapy involves work between sessions as well as within them. Your therapist will discuss any tasks, exercises, or reflections that may support your progress. These are always agreed collaboratively and tailored entirely to your situation and pace.


No GP Referral Needed

You do not need a GP referral to book with us. You can contact us directly for a confidential initial consultation. We are happy to work alongside your GP or other healthcare providers with your consent.

If you are in crisis: Apex Psychological Services is not an emergency or crisis service. If you are experiencing a mental health emergency, please contact NHS 111, call 999, or attend your nearest A&E. Samaritans are available 24/7 on 116 123 (free, any phone).


Frequently Asked Questions


1. Can a relationship survive infidelity?

Yes. Many couples not only survive infidelity but go on to build a stronger, more honest relationship. Research shows specialist therapy significantly improves recovery outcomes compared to couples who try to manage without support.


2. Do we need to have decided about our relationship before starting therapy?

No. Therapy can support you whether you are working to rebuild your relationship or trying to understand what you each want. You do not need to have made a decision before your first session.


3. How does infidelity affect sexual intimacy?

Infidelity typically makes sexual intimacy very difficult for both partners — triggering intrusive thoughts, loss of desire, physical aversion, or conversely a driven hyper-sexual response. These are all normal reactions that therapy helps both partners navigate.


4. Should we attend therapy together or separately?

Both options are available and many people do both. Individual sessions provide space to process personal feelings; couple sessions address the shared recovery. Your therapist will help you find the right structure.


5. How long does recovery therapy take?

Infidelity recovery typically takes longer than other presentations — often 12–24 sessions or more. Recovery is gradual and non-linear. Progress is reviewed regularly and the plan adapted throughout.


No referral needed: You can contact us directly without a GP referral or existing diagnosis. We respond to all enquiries within one working day, Monday to Friday.


Fees


Session Fees

Individual Sessions: £90 per session (50 minutes)
Couple Sessions: £130 per session (50 minutes)


Session Frequency

Most clients attend weekly or fortnightly sessions. You and your therapist will agree a frequency that suits your needs.
Both in-person and online appointments are available.


Please use our contact form to arrange a consultation. We respond within one working day.


Take the first step — today

Most clients describe the first session as a relief. A confidential conversation, no pressure, no commitment beyond that hour.

Book your consultation